Yesterday, I dropped off Jesse at the airport. He is on his way to Boston, then Vermont and Maine to work with the Boston Crusaders, a Drum Corps International (DCI) performance team. He is marching Bass drum for them this summer. He will be gone all summer, with shows almost every night. I am proud of his accomplishments and his passion for music and music education. But I had mixed feelings. Although he has been at college at UNT the last two years, he has been close by. Close enough for Dad to rescue him if needed (it wasn't). But now, he is really gone on his own. His own devices and responsibilities will be necessary and there isn't much I can do when he is out there all summer.
Over-reacting? Maybe. But it is a realization that at some time, I have to really let go and let GOD handle the situation and take care of my precious son.
Now, Brady starts college at UTA in the fall, and it furthers the feelings of worry and anxiety that he, too, must survive on his own. He will be close by, but in his own apartment. " How can he manage on his own?" I wonder. I know we raised him right, and he has the knowledge to do what is right. I pray that he is more successful than me. He may go into engineering like his Dad, which would be cool. But, I will be happy if he finds his passion and pursues it. And above all follow God's will for his life.
I have two wonderful boys. It is time to let go, and guide when I can, and hope they ask for the help they need when they need it, instead of suffering, or asking the wrong people for help. I pray they both embrace the life lessons I have taught them by lecture (LOL) and observation. And I hope they remember to not run faster than their angels can fly...